The Art of Living Abroad

The decision to move to France was not completely random for you; you had been drawn to this country already before, studying French language and literature at the University of Ljubljana. Communication in local language was probably not your primary challenge. Nevertheless, were there instances when you felt compromised because of the language barrier?

I had some difficulties in everyday communication mostly at the beginning of my stay, because the French (especially those of African origin) speak extremely fast and have a strong accent. Even though I had studied the language for five years, had visited France several times before, and had excellent writing and grammar skills, I still struggled orally. I had to ask them many times to repeat more slowly. Sometimes they would tease me: “Oh, you don’t understand anything anyway”. Although they were only joking, they could really hurt me with that.

A month later, I got used to the speed of language. It doesn’t take so long when you’re immersed in the environment, especially if you have some pre-existing knowledge. Luckily, I never had difficulties at the language school where I was doing my Erasmus internship at the time. There were many foreigners there, so everyone was making mistakes but we could still understand the main message, which was the most important.

What about cultural differences? Knowing French culture from the university, how much did you still have to adapt in order to blend with the French community?

Phew... there were some traditions which I had known already from before, for example the greeting – you always kiss on the cheek when you say hello, even with new acquaintances or at work. Even though I’ve been living in France for quite some time now, I’m still not used to “la bise” and I try to avoid it if possible. When I meet someone new I automatically shake hands, which surprises them since they think it’s too formal. They also use many polite phrases in speech and writing, which are completely unnecessary from my perspective, but for the French, it’s considered rude not to use them. I think that in spite of being a very open-minded person, I‘m still quite Slavic at heart.

One of the most common problems expats face is the loss of their personal support network. When you moved to France, you did not have acquaintances and family there either. How did you cope with that?

In Lyon, which was my first destination, it wasn’t so hard. I was working with foreign students on a daily basis, so I got to meet many new people. Unfortunately, a lot of them left after completing their language courses. I was able to make closer friends with my colleagues, for example my best friend was a teacher at the school and introduced me to many new people – mainly foreigners. Since we are all in the same boat, expats tend to be more communicative and eager to meet new people.

Do you tend to turn for friendship to Slovenians living in France, other foreign expats, or local French people?

I never felt completely alone in Lyon, but I was still curious to know if there were other Slovenians living there. I created a Facebook group called Slovenians in Lyon and it turned out there really were some. It’s nice to have someone with whom you can share your language and culture, but it doesn’t suffice for a friendship. I don’t want to be friends with someone just because they are Slovenian. Personally, I get along the most with other foreign expats. The French, on the other hand… there are some who are very open-minded, well-travelled and easy to reach. But in general, I believe they are quite closed-minded as a nation. But I guess this can be said of some Slovenians as well.

Do you ever feel guilty about leaving your close family and friends in Slovenia?

Slovenian friends are long-time friends… and as such they will stay forever. Of course I miss them, but since communication today is so cheap, we can easily keep in touch (several times a week). On the other hand, you can’t keep in touch with everyone so I did lose many acquaintances.

Many expats claim money is an important concern when moving abroad. Lack of professional network, administrative technicalities as well as moving expenses make the financial situation all the more precarious. Did you experience any of the above?

Of course! Especially at the beginning, after I finished my internship I wanted to leave the student residence and live on my own. If you want to rent an apartment in France, you need a lot of documents, such as three pay slips, a warrant, an indeterminate term contract, etc. I only had a fixed term contract, which really narrowed down my choice. I was able to “haggle” with the owner to overlook the rest of the documents but I got an apartment which was only semi-furnished. Basically, I was quite financially limited in the first few months and could never have managed without my parents’ help.

After living abroad for almost two years, would you say you now feel at home in France? Are there still challenges that surprise you in everyday life?

My home is still in Ljubljana. It might be because I have recently moved for a job from Lyon to Grenoble, where I only knew one person. I could say that Lyon has become my second hometown, but I am still adjusting to the life in Grenoble.

French people find Slovenians very interesting, because we are becoming a very popular tourist destination. They often ask questions about our language, for example if it’s similar to Russian. They also ask if I need a Visa to work in France. Unfortunately, many French people still don’t know where Slovenia is, they usually put us somewhere in the east, sometimes even up to Mongolia. Normally it helps if I mention Yugoslavia.

Do you think you have made the right decision to move to France or would you like to eventually go back to Slovenia?

At the moment, I think I have made the right decision, but I can’t say I would stay in France for ever. I’ve learned how to adapt to a new environment and start from zero (no basic things, such as health insurance). I’ve met people from all over the world, which was not only very fulfilling, but also gave me the possibility to stay in some new countries for free. I’ve learned how to write a good French CV and what it is like to work in a French company. Altogether, it’s been a very rewarding experience which I do not regret.